Naruto raping our minds since 1999
by ReiLuvsAllen
Summary: LIfe sucks & then you die... For some it sucks more. Naruto is one of these people. A typical Au Naruto fic about family and school. Written by a yaoi fan girl... For simple people who like small words and yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One- Day One, Part one

**If this chapter really sucks please inform me…I won't say no to you complimenting it as well though. I am asking this as I would like to know whether or not this style of writing is fine because I was really trying to make it briefer than what I can usually manage.**

You have to be shitting me, Naruto thought as he sped through the lights furiously. This morning was the worst. First of all there was no hot water at all, and secondly there were no cups of ramen left in his cupboard.

"Yeah I'll be at school in a second." he yelled down the end of his phone as he continued to drive. "Yeah, I said I'll see you in a minute, stop being such as bitch."

Naruto snapped the phone shut and hid it in his lap as he passed a cop car. He hadn't gotten a ticket yet and he wasn't planning to any time soon.

He sighed as he finally pulled into the car park at his school. He leant his head against the steering wheel for a second before he pulled back speedily and rushed to get to class.

"You're lucky that the teacher isn't here yet." A fiery brunette stated as he sat down in his chair.

"Its Kakashi isn't it?" Naruto laughed "Of course he is not going to be here."

"What was that Naruto?" the voice of an older man came wafting from near the door.

"Um…nothing." Naruto chuckled and rubbed the back of his head nervously. He turned furiously back to his friend. "How the hell did he hear me? I was being quiet and he's all the way over there."

"Oh Naruto….You're naivety is so refreshing. I'm sorry to say, I don't think you have such a thing as an inside voice."

The class laughed as Naruto blushed a little. Obviously everyone could hear what he had said, not just his freakishly aware teacher.

The teacher, Kakashi, moved away from the door as the boy next to Naruto began rubbing his back comfortingly.

"Thanks Kiba."

"_Naruto_…." Another warning came from out the front.

Naruto learnt his lesson and kept his mouth shut for the rest of the lesson. That was until Kakashi dropped the bomb on him and the rest of the class.

"Before you go to pick up your room assignments, for those of you living in the dorms this term, I thought I should inform you. The system has changed so you no longer get a choice about who you room with. The pairs are picked by a randomly generated program on the computer. Except if it's Naruto and Kiba. You two are never allowed to room together ever again.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"That is so unfair."

The whole class were pretty pissed about this but Kiba and Naruto were definitely the most vocal about it. Of course this was only fair as the world seemed to be against them this year.

"Why can't we be roomed together? I though you said it was random?" Kiba complained first.

"We are never allowing you to be grouped together ever again after what happened last year."

"What do you mean? Nothing happened last year" Naruto said adopting an innocent and sweet face.

"You're not fooling anyone Naruto." One of the girls in his class, Sakura, stated. "We all know it was you who dyed my hair pink."

"….."

"And we all know it was you and Kiba who let loose those dogs into the kitchen, and then did that thing with the toilets." Ino, another girl in their class added.

"….Well. There's no proof that we did any of those." Naruto denied "And even if we did, you like your hair that colour Sakura. Also, the dogs appreciated that meal much more than the students ever would."

"And we deny everything surrounding those toilets….You don't have any evidence against us and you never will." Kiba added.

Naruto sweat dropped inside his head. Yeah that didn't sound suspicious _at all._

"Class dismissed." Kakashi waved at them dismissively as the bell sounded.

"The fuck? You didn't even give us a proper explanation!"

The teacher just held up a hand as he vanished out the door.

"Dude that is totally not cool. I thought we were going to be hitting up the town and all that. I needed a wingman; you know I can't talk to Hinata by myself." Kiba swung an arm around his friends shoulder. "This is going to suck ass. I can just tell that my room mate is going to be a dick."

Naruto shook his head in exasperation and took a glance at his timetable. He froze stiff. Kiba seemed to notice this and craned his head over Naruto's shoulder to see what was wrong. He paled slowly and clasped his hand onto Naruto's shoulder.

"Holy shit! You better get going Dude. There is only like five minutes before period two starts."

Naruto nodded weakly and removed Kiba's hand from his shoulder. "I'll see you later…hopefully."

He ran down the corridor and swung around the corner. He had to get to class before it started or he would be dead. Why would Tsunade put him in a class with him as a teacher. She knew they had history…granted she didn't exactly know all the details…. That was no excuse though; he would have to question her later though.

He burst through the door breathing hard two minute before the bell was due to ring. "Almost missed it this time Naruto." a sinister voice came from within the dark room. "I had almost thought you wouldn't come."

Naruto swallowed nervously and stood up slowly. He moved over towards his chair slowly, always keeping an eye on the teacher that was eyeing him.

"Seeing as it is the first day I will grant you this one exception. However tomorrow I expect you to be prompt."

Naruto sighed in relief as he sat down. He was going to talk to Tsunade about this as soon as school ended. He hadn't realised he would be having Orochimaru as a teacher again. The guy was a creeper…honestly.

"I hear that you are going to be having a new room mate this year, and that you don't get to choose who it is…" Orochimaru said.

Naruto nodded in assent being careful not to make eye contact at all.

"So what was your first period class?" The teacher continued to harass him.

"Geography, with Kakashi-sensei." Naruto responded quietly. He closed his eyes in relief as he heard the bell ring.

"I'll speak to you again tomorrow Naruto-_pon"_

Sweet Jesus, I hate that man, Naruto thought as students started to file in. Every time he had Orochimaru as his science teacher it was like this. He would have to arrive to class before the bell rang and then despite this he was not allowed to talk to anyone during class. If he did, even if it was Orochimaru himself, let's just say…the consequences weren't pretty.

The rest of the class passed by with the minutes trickling by to slowly. Naruto felt a desperate need to bang his head on the desk but knew he couldn't it was completely frustrating. The bell chimed eventually though and he was one of the first to exit the room.

"So how was class?" Kiba asked as soon as he rounded the corner. "Orochimaru didn't try anything did he?"

Naruto smile wryly, his friends concern for him was touching.

"No he didn't have time to try anything really. He went easy on me seeing as it is only the first day of term."

Kiba nodded his head and dropped the subject tactfully. Being Naruto's best friend Kiba was mostly aware of the situation with his teacher. However at moments like this Naruto was glad that he did not know all the details.

"Man I am glad we have lunch next period." Naruto distracted the both of them as his stomach rumbled.

"Dude that does not sound healthy." Kiba laughed

"Ah… by the way, Where's is Akamaru today? Usually you wouldn't leave home without him." Naruto asked as they sat down at the back of the class.

"Stupid Tsunade wouldn't let me take him to class anymore. I have to keep him in the dormitory rooms from now on. He is staying at home though until I can get my room

fixed."

The class room door opening loudly attracted the student's attention as everyone turned around to see the teacher entering the room.

"Hi class. It's good to see you again. I missed all of you over the holidays."

Naruto smiled. History was his favourite class purely because of this man. Iruka Umino was definitely the best teacher at this entire school. Naruto had been in his class every year since he had started at this school, and all things considered he was thanking god.

"Now Principle Tsunade has proposed that instead of everyone rushing to the dorm councillor to get their room assignments; They will be given out this period."

Naruto cheered, something had actually gone right for him. This was a first, now he go more time for lunch. He was starving after having missed breakfast this morning.

"Don't be quick to excitement now Naruto. Just wait until you hear who you are partnered with." Iruka chuckled to himself. He knew who the boy was paired with and he knew that he would not be happy about it.

**Rei; "For those of you who are new to my work, I strongly recommend you try a little more….just a little."**

**Sasuke; "Don't bother, she isn't that great. Just up herself."**

**Rei; "Now Sasuke don't say that."**

**Sasuke; "But its true. I mean look where you just ended that chapter"**

**Rei; "I just wanted to space myself out first…as like a little tester."**

**Sasuke; "Sure you did. Are you sure you just didn't have the time or the creativity to continue writing this chapter?"**

**Rei; "….**_**Yes…I think"**_

**Sasuke; "That's what I thought."**

**Rei; "Naruto…."**

**Naruto; "Yes."**

**Rei; "Sex the fool up."**

**Sasuke; "What?"**

**Naruto; "Yes, Miss."**

**Sasuke; "Naruto…no…what are you doing….stop…AHHHHH!"**


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. It is owned by Kishimoto-san….just saying….._

Day one- Part two

Naruto lamented his atrocious luck. Making his way along the corridors he stopped consistently every few metres to give his head a bash for good measure. Maybe God just didn't like him; or perhaps he was so hot that he had to balance out his life by having crap stuff happen to him. Yep, that had to be it.

"Hey Naruto, How were your holidays?" Naruto turned hearing a voice addressing him from behind. He stopped in his tracks and waited till the person caught up to him.

"My hols were alright Lee, how about your's? How have you been?" Naruto grinned at his old friend as the started to walk down the hall with each other. Naruto couldn't help but to snicker as his friend narrated his entire holidays at a fast pace.

"-and then my dad banned me from going to that shop ever again, he was so embarrassed."

"I can see why…" Naruto laughed. His friend could be so eccentric sometimes such as his odd obsession with wearing his tight, green, skinny leg jeans and his hair which sported a unique bowl cut. "…but Lee how have you been about, you knows…Neji."

At the mention of that name the previously bouncy teen, stopped and a sad frown took over his face.

"It's been okay. You know I can't stay down for long; I'm much too youthful in spirit for that." he struck a fiery pose. A smile finding its way back to his face he restarted telling his story.

Naruto loved his friend dearly but he released a sigh of relief when they parted ways. That boy was seriously too enthusiastic about the most mundane things. Looking forward now though, he was remembering that he was talking towards his next class and he looked at his watch nervously, apprehensive of the sight that would greet his eyes, and…yep, he was ten minutes late for his class. Stupid Lee, keeping him for longer than intended. Thinking back to when he initially met Lee, Naruto groaned and resumed hitting his head against the wall; recalling just what had prompted this action originally.

"Fuck Me!" Naruto groaned as his head started pound from the unwanted attention.

"No thankyou Dobe." a voice came from behind him prompting another groan.

"Teme, it wasn't an offer." Naruto turned back around and glared at his rival and classmate. "And even if it was, I'm sure I'd be able to find someone more _'capable' _to spend my time with."

"Like anyone would want you."

"I would respond to that, but it would be childish. Also I'm a little bit busy." Naruto sniped turning back to bang his head against the wall.

"So I'm guessing you heard the news then?" the dark haired teen speculated.

"No shit Sherlock. What made you think that? Was it me banging my head against the wall in despair or is it the look of sheer frustration adorning my face?"

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at his peer, partly in confusion about something. But mostly because Sasuke only had a limited range of facial expressions available to him; only a few of which he was prepared to use in public.

"What Teme?" Naruto asked rousing Sasuke from his reverie.

"Its just that you seem awfully loquacious today" Sasuke's familiar smirk was brought back to his face. "Its something I wouldn't have expected of you. I wouldn't have thought that you even knew what half of those words mean."

"Ha ha, did you actually stop to think that I might be intelligent. Its been along time since you were actually involved in my classes; so don't expect to know everything about me."

At this Sasuke's smirk bled away and he was quick to do an about face. Naruto couldn't help but help to watch that back as it moved down the corridor and sigh. That was close to being an almost civil conversation between the two of them. Something that was apparently a big ask since Sasuke had changed. Sasuke and Naruto had once been the best of friends, they were so close they were basically inseparable. That was until Sasuke's family situation had become complicated and he had to move away for a few years. Naruto was somewhat shocked when his friend, whom he had shared a tearful goodbye with, came back and was completely changed. The once affectionate and helpful boy turned into a proud, and altogether darker character.

Naruto sighed again, this time trying to clear his mind of such thoughts. It would be prudent to start the new school year with such depressing thoughts.

Naruto jumped. Holy fucking shit! He thought and started off running. He had just realised that Sasuke had distracted him, ye again, and he was now approximately twenty minutes late for his class.

/

"Mr Uzumaki, I believe you owe me an explanation." Naruto shivered as he was caught standing at the door, his hand raised to knock hesitantly.

This teacher had to be one of the worst, it wasn't that she was a bad educator. It was just that she was an intense. Not in the sense that Gai-sensei the gym teacher, he was more extreme then intense. Gai-sensei was very serious about the abundance of 'youth' that each of his students should possess and as a result of ideals he had managed to abscond with Lee's sensibilities and swayed him to his cause. He was the predominant reason for Lee's too tight skinny-legs. Lee was modelling himself after his idol; and when your idol is a nut job that leads to some fairly predicable conclusions.

Mitarashi Anko was fairly normal in appearances when compared to Maito Gai. She didn't wear any eccentric clothes and she didn't prance about shouting exclamations about youth or such. What was intense about her was everything else. From teaching method to personal skills in student/teacher relationships. She enjoyed herself to the extreme. Naruto remembered one time that Kiba had thrown a paper airplane in class and she caught him. To say the least, the dog loving boy could never look at rulers the same anymore after the detention she gave him. Her clothes left hardly anything to the imagination as well; however, if you so much at looked at her in a suggestive way or made a comment about anything she would scare you with her flamboyant sexual experience and knowledge, and then deck you.

A little bit odd the faculty was admittedly. If not frightening.

"I'm waiting for an explanation Naruto." the woman growled.

"I got held up…" Naruto tried.

"For twenty minutes?"

"….I had to go to the toilet?"

"…..WAS THAT A QUESTION?"

"…No….."

"You know what?"

"…Um…no…"

Anko face palmed herself. " Just sit down Naruto, I'll let you off today because it's the first day. If you come in late for the rest of this term however I will not hesitate to swing you off the flag pole using only you're balls as a rope."

Naruto gulped and quickly moved towards a free seat next to his quiet friend Shino and slumped down.

"I will not repeat the first part of the introduction for your sake Uzumaki so I expect you to get the down low from one of your nasty friends."

Every dead panned, 'down low'? Not another old person trying to be cool. There was just too much of that these days. With that out of the way Anko continued on with the lesson. There was a barely audible sigh of relief when the bell rang for lunch. Naruto was one of the first to rush off with Shino and Kiba trailing behind him. Naruto had his suspicions about those two. But Naruto wasn't going to say anything before it happened. He didn't want to interfere in his friends love life especially when Kiba was so conflicted. Naruto had known that Kiba had had a huge crush on a shy girl called Hinata for the longest time now. Kiba had confided in him while asking about whether Naruto liked her himself. Everybody except Naruto had seemed aware of Hinata's own fondness for Naruto. Enlightenment only came when Kiba had asked him that question. After the revelation that Naruto did not in fact like the girl, Kiba had been debating whether or not to ask the girl out. It had been a year now and just when he was working up the guts to ask her he started doubting himself. He spent the majority of his time with his friends especially Shino and he was slowly starting to question who he liked more, Hinata or Shino.

Why was there so much drama in his life Naruto questioned tiredly. He perked up when they arrived at the cafeteria, which was debatably his favourite place in the entire school. Running straight up to the counter where no-one was waiting he immediately ordered five large bowls of Miso ramen. He praised the day he had convinced the school to serve it. He would have just brought his own instant ramen from home anyway, and it wouldn't have been nearly as healthy as the one that they serve here, with vegetable and everything extra they put in it. Grabbing his food Naruto pulled it to the closest free table with the aid of his friends, who themselves only had a reasonable amount of food each.

"Have you heard from Neji?" Shino asked in his smooth, deep voice; slightly muffled from the hoodie he had up to his mouth.

"Yes, Hinata told me that he wouldn't be back for a couple of weeks, he's still at the eye doctors and it will take him while to recover from his surgery."

"What are we going to do when he gets back?" Kiba asked angrily. "He deserves to be pranked on or something for not telling us about it. Imagine how Lee felt when even he wasn't told about Neji's eye problems."

Naruto growled "Shut up, Lee's on his way over."

"Hi guys," the bright spark greeted them sitting down.

"Hi." his companion waved half heartedly as he took a place next to Naruto.

"Shikamaru." Naruto and Kiba said hello happily.

"I heard some strange news from a couple of girl friends these holidays. "Naruto snickered. "What wild tales they were…."

"Whoever said they were tales, that implies that they didn't happen." the Lackadaisical genius smirked.

"what happened?" everyone else asked apparently out of the loop.

"I didn't do anything" Shikamaru complained slumping down onto the desk and resting his head on his hands.

"Yeah from what I heard they had to do all the work." Naruto laughed.

"Well I wasn't going to stop them." the lazy boy said

Naruto turned back to their confused company. "Let's say that Shikamaru had a few girl trouble's over the holidays, and it ended in the two fighting…quite interestingly…over him."

One by one the boys started to laugh after finally getting the jist of the conversation.

"Why does Shika get all the luck?" Kiba whined

"Its simple." Naruto said holding up a finger. "Its because he's affected by my sheer animal magnetism."

Everyone laughed. "No hear me out." Naruto continued "Because Shika-Chan here is obviously not gay, and therefore cannot be _attracted _by my good looks, and stunning personality and charisma. It had rubbed off on his despite this and he has a portion of my natural magic effecting him."

"I don't know where your logic comes from, but I don't think that is right." Shino said.

"I don't doubt my youthful friend could be possible of such things. For example I know I have rubbed off on my peers somewhat." Lee commented seriously, not quite being able to pick up completely on the humour.

"Yeah Shino can't you see that Lee influences people too." Naruto exclaimed jumping on top of the table and striking a pose. "Lee's youth basically exudes and affects everyone!"

Lee seemed to get the spirit and then followed his friends to jump on table alongside him. "You are indeed spiritful today my friend, I applaud the amount of youth and physicality you are expressing."

"Is Spiritful even a word?" Kiba asked

"I'm pretty sure its not." Shino replied

"GET OFF THE TABLE YOU LITTLE BRATS!" A womanly voice yelled at the duo.

"Tsunade Baa-Chan." Naruto acknowledged her leaping off the table only to leap and give her a mammoth hug.

"What's your deal you little fox?" Tsunade asked as he released her from his hold.

"I'm just happy to see you old hag." Naruto smiled sunnily.

Tsunade the school's principal just snorted at him. "Like I'd believe that."

Naruto looked serious for a moment. "I need to talk to you about something." he nodded looking around to see if anyone had heard him say this.

Tsunade's face shifted being able to tell that he was serious about this. "End of school in my office Uzumaki." she yelled at him, making it seem as if he was in trouble for what he said.

As Naruto headed back to his table he was able to make eye contact with Kiba and the dog mutt quirked an eyebrow at him, seeming to sense that Naruto had just done something significant.

"I got to go to Tsunade baa-chan's office after school apparently." Naruto grinned at his friends.

They smiled wryly, Naruto always managed to seem to get into trouble. All that is except for Kiba and Shikamaru. Kiba understood why it was that Naruto needed to see the principal, whereas Naruto couldn't identify if Shikamaru knew the real reason or whether he was just too lazy to show the same expression as the others. However Shikamaru was reputed to be genius so Naruto wouldn't put it past him to at least suspect something.

/

Naruto yawned exhaustedly, it was finally the last period of the day. He only had about half of this class to go, then he could meet the old hag, and finally escape to his new dorm room. Though that thought was not as appealing as if he was able to share with Kiba, it was still a more positive prospect then having to stay at school.

Maths was definitely Naruto's worst class however, so he did not know whether he would be able to last this class without getting distracted. Distraction often ended in disaster for Naruto's in this class. It really wasn't his fault he just couldn't seem to concentrate on the algebra of trigonometry or whatever the hell those numbers on the blackboard meant.

The teacher wasn't a great help as well Asuma-sensei generally laid back teacher, which is probably why Shikamaru liked him so much. Though he still expected students to concentrate on his work and gain a basic understanding of the mathematic principles exemplified in the lesson.

Naruto looked around the classroom he was happy to see that there was an upside to this class. All of his friends were present in this class. Though Sasuke-Teme was as well. One of his friends caught his eye at that moment and he gave a small way to the somewhat pudgier boy who he had not had the leisure to talk to all day. Chouji was a polite, kind-hearted boy who was always offering to cook food for his friends and was a on the wrestling team (which was where he was at lunch). He was also Shikamaru's best friend, and he had been since Shikamaru defended him against some bullies in primary school. The boy waved back and grinned at the blue-eyed blonde, before quickly turning back to his work.

Soon enough this class ended as well, and Naruto was one of the first racing out the door. As he turned the next corridor he felt a hand upon his arm and turned to meet with Kiba, having a close up view of the strange pointed tattoos that he possessed under his eyes.

"Would you like me to wait for you outside the principles office?" he asked concerned.

Naruto smiled at his friend concern and patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"I think it will be alright." he told his friend "I'm a big boy now, I'm sure I can get there and to the dorms by myself."

Kiba gave him a dead-panned face "Sure you can…" he said sarcastically.

"Trust me" Naruto said before his walked of. Before he completely lost sight of his friend he smirked over his shoulder. "Perhaps you should go a find Shino, I'm sure he would… _appreciate _your company."

Kiba looked after the blond moving down the corridor before figuring out Naruto's knew about his tiny crush and blushed.

/

"You can go in Naruto" Shizune informed the boy sitting outside the principles office.

He smiled at her and waved as he entered the large round office.

He smirked a little as he smelt the alcohol in the air. "You know you shouldn't be drinking at school." he berated his godmother somewhat softly.

"Shut up boy, what did you want to speak about?" she asked her blond hair wafting in the breeze coming in from the open window.

"Why did you put me in Orochimaru's class?" he asked somewhat angrily, moving to sit on the free chair in from of her desk.

"I wasn't aware that you were." she said.

"Yeah, I'm in his sciences" Naruto informed her.

Tsunade logged on to her computer to check his timetable. She frowned, before she started to type furiously.

"Someone has hacked into the school system to change the timetable." she hissed.

"Are you going to go to the police?" Naruto asked.

"There's no point," she groaned slamming her hand on the desk. "They wouldn't be able to track the intruder, they worked on an encrypted network. Hell! The only reason I was able to tell there was even a hacker was because I used to work closely with computers in medicine."

Naruto did not seem to comprehend the odd nature of this comment and just nodded, he knew Tsunade would do what she though best. He might as well try though.

"But surely the police…."

"No Naruto, trust me, they can't tell."

"Its not like we don't know it wasn't Orochimaru already." he huffed "he's the only one that would want to change it."

Tsunade refused to accept or deny this accusation and continued to type at the computer. "The most that I can do is to change the subject. Orochimaru is the only science teacher available during that period. You'll have to take another subject."

Naruto bit his lip considering; it wasn't that he was actually good at science, but he didn't know what other subject he could possible do. It had taken him a lot of time and effort to even understand the science. It was intimidating to have to dedicate so much time to another subject.

"What other subjects are there?" he asked.

Tsunade peered at the computer. "There is music, textiles, and social studies."

Naruto snorted, of course the only subjects available offered no interest to him. He considered it briefly before deciding on music. At least he had already learnt to play some instrument, even though he hadn't enjoyed doing it.

"Music." he informed the educator.

"Okay" she said standing up and proceeding to rifle through a file cabinet until she found a sheet of paper and sat back down. "That's not the worst of our worries however."

Naruto gulped, the situation sucked already, How could it get any worse?

"We have to convince Orochimaru to sign his permission for you to become unenrolled from his subject."

Naruto slammed his head on the desk. That was a lot worse. "How the hell am I supposed to convince him to do that?"

Tsunade sighed. "At least try. If worst comes to worst I can always give him a _talk." _Naruto grinned he would love to be there for that conversation. "I'll talk to the music teacher as well, but they shouldn't be hard to convince. They had an abnormally low number of students in their class this year, and should be glad for the extra participant."

Naruto nodded. "I don't suppose there is any chance of you changing my dorm assignment is there?" he asked, not expecting much.

He was correct in his assumption when she said. "Nope."

He hung his head in defeat.

"Now take your sheet you GakI and get the hell out of my office." he left just as she was pulling out another bottle and chuckled. He would have to go and see that snake first thing tomorrow morning. He would definitely take back up for that one.

/

Opening his door, Naruto was prepared to just grab a towel and go straight into the shower before turning in. What he was not prepared for was a dark-haired teen to promptly glomp him to the floor. Looking upwards towards the mound on top of him Naruto aimed a punch straight for the head that was overtaking his view. Aforementioned head was quick to dodge before trapping both of Naruto's hands above his head by the wrists.

"Hi dickless."

"Hi Sai."

/

**Rei; "Hi"**

**Naruto; "Hi"**

**Rei; "Hi"**

**Naruto; "Hi"**

**Rei; "Hi"**

**Naruto; "Can't you think of anything good to say?"**

**Rei; "Nope"**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Naruto or its characters….or do I? …..No, I don't.**

Day two

Sasuke sighed as he slowly climbed out of bed. It was only his second day at school and he was already exhausted. At the risk of sounding like that lazy-ass Shikamaru…It was all just too troublesome. The teachers, subjects, students; and especially one student in particular.

Naruto

Geography was his first period subject, and how Sasuke was dreading it. Not only did he have the most annoying teacher ever; he hated the damn subject; and Naruto was in that class as well.

The only thing that Sasuke was grateful for this term was that he got a dorm room to himself and it had an ensuit connected to it. Looking at the clock he was reminded that he had an extra hour before class. Plenty of time to have a shower and have some breakfast before meeting Kakashi as the teacher had requested.

As soon as he was done with his morning preparation Sasuke went to the meeting.

"What do you want?" he asked as soon as the man showed up

"I just wanted to see how my favourite student was coming along." The older man smiled (which you could only discern from the way his only visible eyes upturned; damn him for wearing a mask constantly)

"You know damn well I'm doing fine." Sasuke scowled. "…and I'm pretty sure that favouritism is against the rules, you dickhead."

"I saw you talking to Naruto yesterday." Kakashi prompted, ignoring that last comment and trying to start a regular conversation. "How did that go?"

"Okay" Sasuke said with the slightest hint of suspicion as to where this conversation was leading.

"Are you sure that you are alright with that? Why are you two fighting anyway?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke started, he hadn't actually though about why they were fighting before. He only knew that they were.

"By the look on your face…I'm going to take a punt and say that you wouldn't have a clue."

"Hn." was Sasuke's lone response.

"I saw Itachi the other day." The teacher continued not expecting more of a response.

Sasuke snorted. "Why do you even bother? It's not like you're his guardian anymore, he's over eighteen now"

"Because I care, and I promised your parents and uncle, you know that. He was asking about you by the way."

"Like I care."

"Oh…I'm sure that you do" Kakashi noted.

With that the warning bell for first period sounded and Kakashi went dashing off 'to get a book'. Sasuke figured this was just an excuse so he would be able to meet the other student's expectations and come late to class; and also so he wouldn't have to be present for an entire lesson.

Soon the students all began to file in and sat at around chatting, because they knew that Kakashi wouldn't show up for at least another ten minutes. Sasuke moved to meet with his friends at the edge of the room Ino and Sakura perking up as soon as he approached them. Luckily for Sasuke they were diverted from him by another of his friends, and a mutual friend of Naruto, Shikamaru.

"So how was your weekend?" Sasuke heard him ask the females

They responded immediately, talking excitedly about how they had their hair done; went shopping; and they even skirted around their stalker like activities revolving around Sasuke himself. Sasuke of course sighed, and wondered once more why he put up with their fan girl nonsense.

After a moment Sasuke was able to pull Shikamaru from the two girls as they busied themselves discussing what they had done to their hair.

"I'm having trouble dealing with Naruto." he admitted to his lazy friend.

"…And you expect me to do what exactly about that?" Shikamaru asked yawning.

"Well I don't know." Sasuke huffed angrily. "Maybe you could ask why he's angry with me."

"I suppose I could." Shikamaru scratched the back of his head thinking. "What would I get out of it?"

Sasuke scowled "I'll let you borrow my car for a few hours when you have your next date….no making out in it though, or I'll kill you."

Shikamaru just nodded, accepting the offer. Now if he could only be bothered to choose which girl he wanted more. It's not his fault that Ino and Temari were both hot for him.

At that moment Kakashi entered the room and gave the students a cursory glance before moving to his desk.

"Every get out of your seats and move to the side of the room." he instructed lazily. "Take your stuff with you." he added.

Everybody grumbled as they shifted. Kakashi-sensei was definitely up to something, and it wouldn't be good. As soon as every had moved he took out a sheet out of his bag and started talking.

"Starting form today I will be assigning seats for you all." he held up a hand as people began to open their mouths. "And before you complain. These will be permanent, and aside from that the person you sit next to will be your assignment partner for the next term."

"No way!" Sakura complained. "What if they're totally stupid? That would be so unfair."

Kakashi frowned at her. "Well maybe then you'll learn some tolerance, and oh…I don't know…some kindness, by helping them"

The pink haired girl blushed with embarrassment, looking a bit shocked that the teacher had told her off like that.

Sasuke smirked, served her right.

Kakashi started reading out names and pointed at a pair of close desks for each of them.

Sasuke ignored most of them, noting absently that Sakura and Ino had gotten paired together, as had Chouji and Shikamaru.

"Naruto…and Sasuke." Sasuke heard Kakashi call his name.

Naruto immediately started complaining about the pairing; one of the reasons Sasuke started scowling, that and he knew Kakashi had matched them together on purpose.

However, Sasuke just resigned himself and moved to his indicated seat with Naruto grumbling and fussing behind him.

"Your assignment you and your partner will be doing together is researching about a particular country and its resources. I'll have an assignment sheet for you by the end of the week and you just have to follow the guidelines."

Kiba lifted his hand and started talking before Kakashi had even acknowledged him. "How do we know which country we do?" he asked loudly.

"We speak when we're spoken to." Kakashi said smiling. "Only warning you'll get"

All the students winced, if Kakashi was smiling while reprimanding you, it was a bad sign. That's how the porn accident had happened last year, but Sasuke really didn't want to think about that. Never get detention with Kakashi Hatake is the bottom line.

"I'll give you each individual assignment sheets that have your country listed on them. Each country has different resources and infrastructure so each group will have different things they need to do."

Fan-fucking-tastic! Sasuke thought, only just realising that this meant that he would be doing the assignment with Naruto. He was having a slow day today.

The bell soon rang and Sasuke got to his feet and made his way slowly down the corridor, glad they had a few minutes between each period.

Unfortunately though his next class was music, and that was across the other side of the school.

Suddenly he heard a shout from one of the science labs. He recognised that voice, and concerned he sidled up to the doorway; and seeing it open he widened the crack.

He was shocked by what he saw. There on the ground was the blonde haired boy who had been occupying his thoughts with a split lip and his shirt ripped partly open.

Sasuke growled as he saw it was Orochimaru-sensei standing over him and shouting. He wasn't sure if he should run in there and grab Naruto or just ignore the situation. It was none of his business after all. Sasuke just stood there staring though, assessing the situation.

"HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY THINK OF CHANGING SUBJECTS? YOU WILL BE STAYING IN THIS CLASS, AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY!" the man was yelling.

Naruto however was not one to back down. "I've already talked to Tsunade Baa-chan and we both know you changed my timetable so I would be in your class. She said is going to rip you a new one if you don't sign the paper."

"You can't prove anything, and if you talk to that hag again, I'll tell her everything." the snake-like man said.

"And _you_ can't prove anything either." Naruto snapped back. "But I'm still gonna change class whether or not you sign me out of this one. So fuck you!"

Orochimaru leapt forward and pulled Naruto up by his hair. Naruto winced and kicked the man in the balls in response. The teacher hissed and pulled his fist back, punching Naruto in the face before flinging him into his desk. Sasuke gasped as he saw and heard Naruto's head connect with the edge and snap forward. Slowly the boy lifted himself up again and wavered in his stance. His swaying got noticeably worse as the older man came close again and he stepped back a bit.

"Last warning boy, "he said menacingly, holding up a fist prepared to hit the boy.

"Fuck you." Naruto gasped raising his own hands in both defence and aggression.

Orochimaru hissed and his hand came down. Before Sasuke had even noticed it himself, he moved and intercepted the attack.

"Leave him alone." he growled pushing Orochimaru back.

"This is none of your business, Uchiha, get out."

"Fine, but I'm taking Naruto with me." he grabbed the wobbly boys hand and dragged him out of the classroom.

As soon as they were out of sight and hearing Sasuke stopped and turned to the boy.

"What was that?" he demanded

Naruto just opened and shut his mouth not knowing what to say. Sasuke growled in frustration, he went to pull Naruto to the Principal's office, where hopefully he would find some answers. This didn't work very successfully though, because at that moment Naruto just happened to fall to the floor unconscious.

"Fabulous Dobe, now I have to drag your ass somewhere." Sasuke growled yanking on the arm he still held and pulling the blonde up over his shoulder in a fireman's lift.

Mumbling and swearing Sasuke stomped his way across the common, enduring a number of sideways glances, as well as straight out staring from the general student boy.

"This better be bloody worth it." he growled when he finally reach the principals office which was conveniently located adjacent to the infirmary.

Without knocking, Sasuke barged straight into the office, almost kicking the door down in his attempt, as it was kind of awkward opening a door with only one arm free.

As soon as Sasuke burst in the blond, buxom women sitting at her desk stared at him. Sasuke gave her a flat look. Her eyes darted to the figure lying over his shoulder and then back to the other boy's passive face.

"The Fuck?" she yelled standing up and moving to the obviously unconscious boy.

"What happened?" She demanded an answer, gesturing for Sasuke to place Naruto on her couch.

"Orochimaru." he grunted.

Tsunade's face suddenly froze and became dark.

"Did you see this happen?"

"Most of it." Sasuke responded.

"Get Shizune to check on him." She dismissed him from the room to get the nurse as she moved towards her desk. She was soon on the phone talking to an officer she just happened to know, one who had been monitoring the situation for quite a long period of time.

Sasuke soon found the nurse, a young women. Who was surprisingly the student of Tsunade herself, before she became a teacher and was a renowned doctor. He didn't see why she needed Shizune however as she was perfectly capable of looking after Naruto by herself. Sasuke been the sharp student he was, figured that she did it purely to get him out of the room.

By the time that Sasuke arrived back to the room with Shizune in tow Tsunade had finished whatever secret task she had to do and was sitting at her desk filling out paperwork.

Naruto was still out cold and there was a large bruise blossoming across his cheek.

Shizune immediately went to the prone body and began fussing over him. Sasuke remained standing and gazed at the principal with his usual stoic expression .

"You know what I'm going to ask don't ou?" she stated after a while.

Sasuke just nodded in affirmation, already suspecting that he indeed did know.

"When is he getting here?" Sasuke just asked.

"Soon," Tsunade said. "I don't know if Naruto will testify so I just need some corroboration for my own story. I'm sorry about this."

Sasuke shook his head. "I'm a witness, what can you expect?" Then he scowled. "Just as long as you put the bastard away"

"Put which bastard away?" was heard quietly from the side of the room.

Sasuke and Tsunade immediately snapped their heads around to see Naruto gazing at them from around Shizune.

"Put who away?" he repeated.

Tsunade ran up to his side and gingerly embraced him, trying not to agitate his wounds, and aware of his delicate sensibilities after the attack.

"Who?" Naruto growled.

"Orochimaru" Sasuke answered him quietly seeing as Tsunade didn't seem to want to answer.

"You can't do that." Naruto pleaded suddenly, something Sasuke wasn't expecting from the usually loud and abrasive boy. Why would he want to save his attacker?

"I can, and I'm going to." Tsunade said. "There's no argument, whether you give evidence or not, I'm filing a report."

"But you have no _actual_ evidence." Naruto continued.

"That's what I'm here for…." a new voice said, Sasuke paling when he heard it.

/

**Rei; "That went for soooooo long with nothing happening."**

**Sasuke; "You know the reason for that?"**

**Rei; "No,… Why?"**

**Sasuke; "Because you are just like my Dobe…to many words and not enough thought behind them."**

**Naruto; "Hey!…oh, wait…I can see that."**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Naruto….yet.**

**Day Two- part two**

"_Put who away?" he repeated._

_Tsunade ran up to his side and gingerly embraced him, trying not to agitate his wounds, and aware of his delicate sensibilities after the attack._

"_Who?" Naruto growled._

"_Orochimaru" Sasuke answered him quietly seeing as Tsunade didn't seem to want to answer._

"_You can't do that." Naruto pleaded suddenly, something Sasuke wasn't expecting from the usually loud and abrasive boy. Why would he want to save his attacker? _

"_I can, and I'm going to." Tsunade said. "There's no argument, whether you give evidence or not, I'm filing a report."_

"_But you have no actual evidence." Naruto continued._

"_That's what I'm here for…." a new voice said, Sasuke paling when he heard it._

/

Fuck, Fuck…..Fuck. This was the most Sasuke could manage to think at this moment as he tried to think of a way out of his situation. Why of all people that the old, spiteful hag could have called; did she choose to call the one that he did not want to see?

He glared at the figure in front of him. Lucky for him the tall, dark haired man was too busy promoting himself to notice the his little doppelganger by the door. Damn hereditary genes making both of them look similar.

"Itachi!" Naruto grinned attempting to sit up more.

Immediately the older Uchiha turned recognising the familiar, sunny voice. His face fell however seeing the dark bruising marring the scared cheeks.

"Naruto-chan." he sighed turning back to Tsunade who was watching the interaction silently. "Why didn't you tell me it was Naruto?" he asked.

The principal just shrugged and picked up a few files off her desk that Sasuke noticed had not been there before he had been sent to go retrieve Shizune.

"These are the hand-written application that Naruto filled out for his subject choices last year; as well as the computer files after Orochimaru changed them to include him in his science class. As well as that I have included his school records and his medical records"

Itachi just nodded as he moved forward to acquire the folder. Sasuke had a suspicion that he would have asked for the information regardless. Just to further spite the poor witness, God decided for Itachi to notice him for the first time since entering. As Sasuke was currently wrapped up in his thoughts about investigatory processes, he failed to notice until it was too late that he was about to be glomped with a shout of;

"OTOUTOU!"

Sasuke's brow twitched, there were many reasons that Sasuke had not wanted to have excessive contact with his brother and this was one of them. The stupid man had a slight brother-complex.

The younger boy just thanked the lord that it wasn't anything incestuous. His brother had just been overprotective due to what had happened to their parents and had become rather obsessive, and protective over him. Though at least it was in doting way, not in a creepy way. A road to which it could have turned easily. At least in Sasuke's mind, he knew he was hot and that he was a pessimist, and half the time his assumptions turned out to be true. So the logical conclusion would be that his brother was infatuated with him due to his inherent sexiness, thank God that for once his assumption had been wrong.

"Hello Aniki." Sasuke sighed and removed his brothers arms from around him.

"Where have you been hiding? I haven't seen you for so long" Itachi pouted.

"Umm…nowhere." Sasuke looked around him, avoiding meeting his eyes. It wasn't that he didn't like his brother, his bipolar character however was a different story. How this man came to be one of the lead members of the Anbu force in Konoha was beyond him.

"Itachi could we please get back to business now?" Tsunade asked impatiently.

Sasuke immediately turned his attention back to Naruto when he heard a thump from his direction. Upon seeing Naruto slumped over the floor after attempting to stand he ran over.

"Perhaps you should let me take Naru-chan to the my house, Tsunade." Itachi suggested as Shizune hovered of the boy helping Sasuke to pick the boy up.

"I'm going too." Sasuke interjected just as Tsunade opened her mouth.

The women just nodded in a resigned manner. "Just don't let him sleep once he wakes up because he might have a concussion. If he starts coughing blood, or feints take him to the hospital immediately."

Itachi nodded. "We'll have to take him there first thing tomorrow anyway to be checked out by a registered doctor. I need a doctors report for the case file."

Nodding Tsunade picked up her phone. "I'll tell both of your teachers, and I'll make sure Kakashi knows."

Sasuke nodded. "Can you ask him to pick my car up as well, please?"

"Sure, and I'll arrange a time tomorrow when we can talk again Itachi. In the mean time can you have someone watch Orochimaru. If I know him, he'll be up to something."

Itachi nodded and took one of Naruto's arms from Shizune; and with Sasuke on the opposite side they carried the pale boy out of the room.

As they drove Sasuke scrutinized his brother. He was surprised that Itachi hadn't said anything to him yet; there was an interrogation coming and he knew it. Not to say that the rare moment of peace and silence in his brother's presence wasn't nice. Almost immediately after Sasuke noticed Naruto had fallen asleep, he started.

"Otoutou…." A whine came from Sasuke's side, causing him to sigh.

"Hn."

"Where have you been?"

Sasuke sighed. "I already told you that I was nowhere."

"You have to have been somewhere, I would have noticed you otherwise. In case you had forgotten we do live in the same house." Itachi stopped talking as he pulled up at the curb.

"Aniki," Sasuke cursed his brothers poor memory, and his lack of sensibility. "…I moved into the dorms two days ago, we don't live together anymore, remember?"

The man's eyes began to water. "But you'll visit me on the weekends won't you?…and during the week?"

I hate you sometimes, was what Sasuke thought to himself. He missed the time when the brothers used to loath each other. Once the stress of competition disappeared with the death of their parents however, the love basically overwhelmed the poor boy.

Itachi pouted and gave his brother watery, puppy dog eyes.

Sasuke couldn't resist when he made those eyes. A cop…was not supposed to use those eyes.

"Fine." he grunted eventually.

They got out of the car and grabbed one side of Naruto each. Sasuke waited as Itachi unlocked the door, swinging Naruto's full wait into his arms, so he was now carrying him bridle-style.

"Put him in your room." Itachi shouted from the kitchen, leaving Sasuke to wait in the hall with Naruto.

"Why not the guest room?" Sasuke yelled straight back.

"Just take him to your room." Sighed the man. "I'll tell you later. Besides…" he poked his head back around the corner to face his brother. "…don't you want some alone time with your 'friend'." he winked.

The dark-haired boy just rolled his eyes at his older sibling and carried his burden up the stairs.

Placing him Softly on the bed, Sasuke froze when the blonde let out a light moan. He watched his patients face intently looking for any sign of restiveness; when he found none he quickly escaped his room and went looking for some food.

"Why doesn't Naruto-chan come to play anymore?" Itachi asked as soon as he entered the room.

Sighing the younger boy sat down on one of the stools by the counter. Seeing the depressed expression on his brothers face, Itachi stopped his immaturity and sat down opposite.

"I don't know why, he just started ignoring me one day, and then we started to fight every time we talked to each other. I don't know what to do, I'm trying to be friends again. He just always acts like an ignorant, Dobe."

Itachi moved closer, wrapping an arm around the boy as he watched him bury his head in his hands.

"Don't worry Aniki, I'm sure everything will turn out fine." he rubbed a hand up and down his arm reassuringly.

/

Naruto groaned as he started to come back to consciousness. Looking around he found himself in a familiar room and groaned. He had a pounding headache but he eventually found the strength to lift his head up and take a glance to see if anyone else was there. This was one place he did not want to be. Though he had to admit that he had missed Itachi while the two of them had been fighting. Sure Itachi was a whole lot different than the last time that he had seen him; but Itachi had always been nicer to Naruto than he was to his brother.

The blonde boy was glad that Itachi had changed his personality after their father had died. Come to think of it he was glad that their father had died altogether. He was a horrible man, always pitting his sons against each other so that he could find the strongest to be his successor. Naruto remembered one time when Fugaku, their father, had gone to the trouble to bribe him into staying away from his sons. He apparently was a bad influence on them….to _happy_.

The downside to the power hungry man's death was that it drove Sasuke even more away from him, and everyone else. Sasuke had become introverted and bitter as a result of the stress his father pushed upon him. Also because in the end it had all been for nothing. The eldest son got all of the legal rights to the Uchiha property. Luckily for him though Itachi loved him and was not selfish with their belongings, he split the right and gave Sasuke half of the money that their family had accumulated. Which was a fortune in itself.

It was times like that, when Naruto wished that he had a sibling. Hell, he wished he had a family. The closest he got was the old hag, Tsunade; her husband, Jiraiya (who was also his godfather); and also Iruka. They weren't his family though…not directly.

Trying to stand Naruto swung his legs over the edge. His face and ribs were starting to ache really badly, and he just wanted to lay back down and go to sleep.

"Don't you dare think about going back to sleep." Naruto heard a voicer saying from the doorway. Turning he discovered Itachi leaning against the door-frame.

"I wasn't" the younger boy lied.

"Sure…."Itachi drawled. "…and I bet you weren't thinking about Sasuke a moment ago either?"

The blonde's mouth dropped. "How did you know that?"

Itachi just started blankly back at him. "You don't seem to realize that not everything you think stays there." he replied cryptically.

It took him a good few minutes to work that sentence out with his pounding head. "Do you mean I was saying all of that out loud?" he asked eventually.

"No, I'm sure you didn't say everything you were thinking. You did say my little brother's name a lot though."

Blushing Naruto straightened his legs to stand. As soon as he was vertical however his sense of balance seen to go awry. Grabbing his head he struggled against his wavering stance.

"Naruto." Itachi cried running over to support him. "Just lay back down. Tsunade said you might have a concussion."

"Can I have some panadol or something?" Naruto asked unsteadily

"Sure." Itachi said kindly before helping the boy. "OY SASUKE….GET SOME PAIN KILLERS AND GET IN HERE." he shouted suddenly

Naruto groaned, clutching his head. "Not helping, Itachi."

"Is he awake?" Sasuke asked immediately upon entering the room.

He slowly made his way over to the bedside table and set down the tray holding the painkillers and a large glass of water.

"How are you feeling?" he asked kindly.

Naruto frowned. "Just as well as someone who has been bashed by a creepy, old, snake-like paedophile."

"So I'm guessing…not well." Sasuke said with a blank expression.

"No shit Sherlock." the blonde replied.

Without either of the boys noticing, Itachi had slipped past them and out of the room. It was for his own benefit that his brothers door opened outwards. Quickly he slipped the chair from his study, under the door knob. Just as he finished he heard silence.

"Boys I just wanted you to know that I'm not letting you out until you are friends again. Also, Sasuke don't let that cutie sleep, he has a concussion." Itachi then left them to their own devices.

/

"What now?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know."

"If you got that stick out of your ass you might come up with an answer, you wouldn't be nearly as distracted."

"Maybe if you acquired some brains you might be able to come up with an answer, full stop."

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"You know what I changed my mind. You might have a stick up your ass, but instead of just taking it out; you should replace it with something more entertaining. You need to loosen up a bit."

"Says the virgin."

"Hey!...you don't know if I'm a virgin or not."

"I can say with the utmost confidence that you are a virgin."

"Can we just stop this conversation now please?"

Sasuke smirked, another battle won. He grimaced though, he hadn't even managed to have breakfast yet and he knew Itachi wouldn't bring them any food for a while. If he brought any at all.

"So what does Itachi want us to do exactly?" Naruto asked lying back against the head board of the bed, so he could rest more comfortably.

"To be friends." Sasuke said rolling his eyes. "weren't you listening?"

"I was, but surely he can't just make us be friends again. I mean…aren't we fighting or something?"

"I don't know." Sasuke frowned. "I thought you were angry at me.

Naruto looked confused. "What?"

"When I first came back to school, you wouldn't even look at me, or welcome me back." Sasuke sat on the bed opposite Naruto. "I thought you didn't like me anymore, so just resolved not to talk to you either."

"You have to be shitting me?" Naruto's eyes widened in comprehension. "I though you were ignoring me…"

Sasuke face palmed himself. He couldn't believe that he had done something so stupid, as losing his best friend over a little misunderstanding. Naruto….maybe, but not him.

"So do you mean….that we've been fighting each other all this time…for nothing?" he asked

"Now that you have a firm grip on the obvious." Naruto started. "What do we do? Can we just go back to being friends, like nothing has happened?"

Sasuke smirked, his spirits suddenly lighter. "I don't see why not."

In response to his smirk Naruto grinned. He stretched out a hand. "In that case….Sasuke Uchiha, would you like to be my best friend again?"

The dark haired boy grasped the outstretched hand in his immediately. He shuffled forward to sit closer a smile coming to his normally stoic face.

"You know what? I think I would."

/

**Rei; "chapter four….done"**

**Sasuke; "Why do you insist on putting these stupid little authors notes at the bottom of each chapter. it's a fucking waste of time."**

**Rei; "Hey…its my time."**

**Naruto; "I think she does; 1) because she thinks she's funny….2) Many other authors do it, so she is conforming to societies standards…like a chump….and 3)because she is desperately fighting for any source of recognition as a writer from her audience, and she wants to implore them to REVIEW her lame ass stories."**

**Rei; "…"**

**Sasuke; "Holy fuck….that actually sounded half-way smart just then."**


End file.
